Now don’t let my fashion merchandising degree fool you- I have left the house looking a hot homeless mess on more than one occasion. Now it’s not usually a downright fashion faux pas but more of a ‘I don’t care *slash* don’t have time *slash* haven’t done laundry in two weeks’ look of yoga pants and UGGs. I’m a good dresser-when I try (which I admit typically doesn’t include Saturday and Sunday during daylight).
Oh, but then there are those blips- those inexplicable outfits that I thought were acceptable and, in retrospect, should have never made it into my closet let alone onto my body and out my door. Now, as a child of the late eighties and early nineties I’m not going to be talking about the acid washed denim with the elastic waistbands and pegged legs or the shoulder pads- we all have those horror stories. I’m not going to focus on things pre-2000. I am NOT willing to accept responsibility for anything pre-2000 because a) I blame my parents and b) the whole world (except Kate Moss) was dressing horribly. No, I’m only going to be discussing the things that I made the conscious and informed decision to wear thinking that it’d be fabulous. Terrible. Some of them are just ugly and some are just embarrassing. Please don’t judge me too harshly based on what I’m going to reveal here.
· My junior prom dress: hot pink, shiny, poofy, hideous. The strange updo and purple eye shadow didn’t help either. The shoes, however, were amazing. Silver, high, and blinged to the max. I wore them well into college until the stones fell out.
· The summer after my freshman year of college my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. So what’s a girl to do? Go to Morgantown Mall (Gadzooks) and buy a black shirt with gold lettering that says ‘Single and Fabulous’. That paired with a black mini skirt and about 3 too many gold accessories is bad all by itself. But it gets even worse. I definetly ran into both of them at the bar that night and he took one look at me and said ‘nice shirt’. I died.
· Junior year my 2 roommates and I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers in Columbus. The concert was the night before Halloween so we all decided to wear our Halloween costumes. Correction- I thought we all decided to wear our Halloween costumes. They changed their minds and didn’t tell me. Since we were only going to be there one night, I only brought my firefighter costume. I got there and that’s all I had to wear and I found out they didn’t bring theirs. Pissed! Whatever. I rocked it and got a lot of love from the other concert goers but it was still slightly embarrassing. The moral of the story is NEVER only bring one outfit- especially if that one outfit is a Halloween costume. Lesson learned.
· Floor length dress with thigh-high slits up both legs. Oh it gets better. It was red and black tiger print with sequins ALL over. Oh it was terrible. I wore it to a sorority formal sophomore year with strappy black heels. I thought I was sooo sexy. Oh I was sooo wrong.
These are the four examples that come to the front of my mind when I think back on the fashion missteps in my life but I’m sure as soon as this gets posted I’m going to be swamped with texts saying ‘what about that time you wore _____? That was HORRIBLE!’. As I look back on these outfits though, I wore them during some of the best nights of my life. I remember everything about them so vividly and had so much fun it was unbelievable and nothing-not even bad outfits could ruin them. It’s not about what you wear but how you wear it. At the time I thought I looked amazing in each of those outfits so my confidence took over and I had an amazing time.
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