Why Being Single Doesn't Suck

This past weekend my ex came into town and I got to thinking about relationships (woah, sound like Carrie Bradshaw much?).  Let me preface this by saying that I absolutely ADORE my ex.  He’s a great guy and I really love and respect him.  Here’s the thing that struck me: it’s been awhile since I was in a relationship and I’d forgotten how hard it is being around a guy (or anybody) every minute of the day. 

When people find out that I’m single, their immediate reaction is ‘oh, that’s ok- I know you’ll find someone.’  No shit I’ll find someone- I’m awesome.  There is a short period of time left in my life when I’m going to be single and I need to relish it.  There are so many benefits to being single and honestly, I don’t know why more people don’t BRAG about being single (maybe we don’t want to piss off our coupled friends??).  Here are just a few of my favorite things about being single:

-It’s all about ME.  I do what I want, when I want, how I want.

-I get to choose who I spend time with­-no smiling through time with his friends/family/coworkers.

-It’s all about my interests- I don’t have to (pretend to) care about baseball season starting or Call of Duty.

-No need to compromise

-I’m on my own schedule-if my plans change I don’t have to inform/check in with anyone (and don’t even get me started on people who have to ask permission to do something).

-None of this ‘what should we do/see/eat tonight?’ I know what I want to do/see/eat and that’s all that matters.

-I will not be forced to see Captain America.

-If I don’t feel like shaving for a day (or two…) it’s ok- I’ll just wear pants and nobody will know the difference

-My down time is all my own- I can sprawl out on my couch in sweats and watch as much shitty TV as I want and nobody will judge my choices.

-I can decorate however I want (see previous post).

-No toggling between watching SportsCenter and Real Housewives.

-Save money by not having to buy Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Anniversary, or birthday presents.

-My money is MINE to spend how I want.

-Nobody giving me hell about drinking waaay too much to drink the night before.

-Everything in my house is EXACTLY how I (or Archie) left it.  Nobody bitches if I leave a mess and I have nobody else’s mess to bitch about.

-Toilet seat.  Need I say more?

-When I come home from a rough day I can have peace and quiet.  Priceless.

-There simply isn’t enough room in my bed, what with me, Archie, and the 6 pillows I insist on sleeping with.

- It’s a very liberating and satisfying feeling seeing all that I can do and have accomplished on my own.  By being single I’m really learning a lot about myself and am becoming a stronger person.

There is going to come a time when I’m not single and when that time comes I’ll be at a different place in my life and I will welcome the changes that come.  I’ll want to compromise, share, and everything else that comes with being in a healthy relationship.  But until then- I’m literally LOVING being single and having it be all about moi. 

You Mean Leopard Print Isn't a Neutral???

Although I do my very best to come across as a mature adult, there is a very strong possibility that I am a 13 year old trapped in this twentysomething body.  I don’t know what it is, but I cannot resist anything hot pink, animal print, or blinged out.  I can’t walk past the tween bedroom aisle without taking a peek.  Unfortunately, more often than not I come out with yet another set of zebra sheets.  Imagine my horror when, thumbing through the latest issue of Elle, I read that animal prints are out.  Out?!? Is this some kind of sick joke? Who decided this?  Certainly nobody asked me (or the lovely women who live in the great state of New Jersey). 

Aside from the animal print apparel, I am also the owner of 3 pairs of animal print heels, a zebra themed bathroom complete with shower curtain and towel sets, 2 pairs of zebra sheets, leopard nightstand and ottoman, who knows how many throw pillows and little knickknacks, and an unmentionable number of animal print bags, headbands, bracelets, etc.  I know that grown women can wear animal print and it’s no big deal- however this is not my only symptom of tween-styling disorder.  While my friends have moved on to more demure and age-appropriate color palettes (a tasteful beige, a muted coral or turquoise, my bestie even dared utter –brace yourself- “white” when I asked her what her favorite color was) I cannot seem to shake my hot pink problem.   Throughout high school and most of college I had HOT pink acrylic nails.  Yup, the looong square ones.  Not just pink- obnoxious pink.  I love pink.  Anything pink.  But not just any pink.  That bold, so-bright-if-you-look-at-it-too-long-will-burn-your-eyes pink.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to tone it down a bit- but every single day I’ve either wearing or using something from one of the 3 staples I’ve mentioned above.

I keep it simple at work.  My desk has a vase with some beautiful flowers in it but other than that my desk is pretty basic (except for the blinged out stapler and tape dispenser of course).  I don’t write in gel pens (remember those?!?) or the feather boa topped pens like they had in Clueless (although they were the shizzz).  I understand that there is a time and place for everything and in my job I people trust me to make important decisions- I don’t want to make them question the confidence they put in me by looking like a silly little girl.  I do, however, use an unreasonable about of pink post-it notes but I justify that by saying that they are the most eye-catching and that’s why I use them.

But outside of work- IT’S ON!  Hot pink velour Juicy sweatsuit? Why not.  (My ex called it my Easter Bunny outfit but even he had to admit it was cute).  I have about 4 different shades of pink bands for my Michele and 2 different animal print bands.  Glittery flip flops are my favorites because they dress up whatever I’m wearing (if only by 0.0001%).  Dump out my bag, for example.  You’ll find a pink iPhone, a pink wallet, a leopard print house key (on a sparkly keychain) and a pink business card holder.  Out of control, I know.  I’d never even given it a thought until someone pointed it out.   At what point does my affinity for all things leopard, pink, and sparkly cross the line?  

I understand that the color pink is associated with ‘little girls’ and not GAW (grown ass women).  It’s not like I’m Elle Woods from Legally Blonde walking around with pink on head to toe (usually).  Just because I’m getting older, am I supposed to resign myself to a life on navy blue, black, gray, and khaki?  I can’t imagine the only prints in my life being stripes (vertical) and plaid. These little embellishments throughout my day make me happy.  If I’m having a stressful day at work and I go to staple something, my stapler makes me smile.  I love slipping off my shoes at 5 and putting on my pink flip flops.  My favorite part of my day is snuggling up in my pink and zebra bed with my dog.  Because if pink, animal print, and sparkle are wrong for a woman of my age then I certainly don’t want to be right.

Welcome to TwentySomethingMess

Welcome to the grand opening of TwentySomethingMess! I have 5 years and 1 month to get my life together before the name no longer applies so I’d better step on it.   Let me start by introducing myself: I am 24 and I live in DC with a roommate, E, and the love of my life- my dog Archie.  I studied Fashion Merchandising (good call, right?) and worked in retail management after graduation until I got burned out (don’t roll your eyes- you can absolutely get burned out at 24) and I now work in an office.  The fast pace is gone but so are many of my problems.  That didn’t seem to help my non-work problems but a start is a start.  I feel that we (twentysomethings) have so many different goals, dreams, fears, insecurities, questions, opinions, ideas, etc and that often we cannot express them in a constructive manner.  I am here because I want a place to share my ideas and struggles but also a place to share the things I love and interesting experiences that I’ve had.

My main goal is to get my shit straight.  Simple, right?  And how am I going to get my shit straight you may ask?  Well I have decided that I need to get 4 main areas situated and when they are situated I will consider my ish straight. 

1.       Professional:  I need to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I know that I’m not alone in that search.  I need to figure out what I like, what I’m good at, and how I can turn that into a career.

2.       Personal Interests:  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that many of my former interests have dwindled or disappeared completely.  Take painting- senior year of high school I loved painting.  What happened?  Did I grow out of it or do I still like it and I just didn’t have time for it anymore?  I need to take a look at my old interests and also try new things to cultivate new interests.

3.       Social: In college I was one of the party girls and was always looking for a good time- that’s part of sorority life, right?  As soon as I graduated I swear I came down with some crazy form of social anxiety.  I don’t do clubs like I used to- I can’t!  I don’t need the millions of friends that I had at school- I’m good with a few great friends.  One thing that I’m sure that many of you can relate to is that my friends are spread out all over the place- it’s so hard!  My goals include putting myself out there and getting to know new people- people outside of my comfort zone.  I also need to make a stronger effort to stay connected with my loves all over the country.  I mean New Jersey really isn’t that far- why can’t I seem to get my ass up there?

4.       Romantic: Ugh, yes I need to get my love life in order.  I don’t need to, but I’d like to.  I need to not let past hurt and broken relationships creep up on me and make reappearance in my life.  I also need to find a good place to meet guys that aren’t crazy.

My hope is that if I get these four areas in order, I will able to become the well-rounded adult woman that I want to be (there will probably be more areas that I decide are essential to my personal wellbeing but for now these are the four I’m going to focus on).  I’m going to make a massive amount of mistakes along the way and I’m sure there will be some teary wine-induced blogs down the road, but as of right now I’m beginning this journey starry-eyed and naive as hell that by doing this blog and focusing on the four areas above, I’ll find my happily ever after.  Buckle up- it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

<3 TSM