You Mean Leopard Print Isn't a Neutral???

Although I do my very best to come across as a mature adult, there is a very strong possibility that I am a 13 year old trapped in this twentysomething body.  I don’t know what it is, but I cannot resist anything hot pink, animal print, or blinged out.  I can’t walk past the tween bedroom aisle without taking a peek.  Unfortunately, more often than not I come out with yet another set of zebra sheets.  Imagine my horror when, thumbing through the latest issue of Elle, I read that animal prints are out.  Out?!? Is this some kind of sick joke? Who decided this?  Certainly nobody asked me (or the lovely women who live in the great state of New Jersey). 

Aside from the animal print apparel, I am also the owner of 3 pairs of animal print heels, a zebra themed bathroom complete with shower curtain and towel sets, 2 pairs of zebra sheets, leopard nightstand and ottoman, who knows how many throw pillows and little knickknacks, and an unmentionable number of animal print bags, headbands, bracelets, etc.  I know that grown women can wear animal print and it’s no big deal- however this is not my only symptom of tween-styling disorder.  While my friends have moved on to more demure and age-appropriate color palettes (a tasteful beige, a muted coral or turquoise, my bestie even dared utter –brace yourself- “white” when I asked her what her favorite color was) I cannot seem to shake my hot pink problem.   Throughout high school and most of college I had HOT pink acrylic nails.  Yup, the looong square ones.  Not just pink- obnoxious pink.  I love pink.  Anything pink.  But not just any pink.  That bold, so-bright-if-you-look-at-it-too-long-will-burn-your-eyes pink.  As I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to tone it down a bit- but every single day I’ve either wearing or using something from one of the 3 staples I’ve mentioned above.

I keep it simple at work.  My desk has a vase with some beautiful flowers in it but other than that my desk is pretty basic (except for the blinged out stapler and tape dispenser of course).  I don’t write in gel pens (remember those?!?) or the feather boa topped pens like they had in Clueless (although they were the shizzz).  I understand that there is a time and place for everything and in my job I people trust me to make important decisions- I don’t want to make them question the confidence they put in me by looking like a silly little girl.  I do, however, use an unreasonable about of pink post-it notes but I justify that by saying that they are the most eye-catching and that’s why I use them.

But outside of work- IT’S ON!  Hot pink velour Juicy sweatsuit? Why not.  (My ex called it my Easter Bunny outfit but even he had to admit it was cute).  I have about 4 different shades of pink bands for my Michele and 2 different animal print bands.  Glittery flip flops are my favorites because they dress up whatever I’m wearing (if only by 0.0001%).  Dump out my bag, for example.  You’ll find a pink iPhone, a pink wallet, a leopard print house key (on a sparkly keychain) and a pink business card holder.  Out of control, I know.  I’d never even given it a thought until someone pointed it out.   At what point does my affinity for all things leopard, pink, and sparkly cross the line?  

I understand that the color pink is associated with ‘little girls’ and not GAW (grown ass women).  It’s not like I’m Elle Woods from Legally Blonde walking around with pink on head to toe (usually).  Just because I’m getting older, am I supposed to resign myself to a life on navy blue, black, gray, and khaki?  I can’t imagine the only prints in my life being stripes (vertical) and plaid. These little embellishments throughout my day make me happy.  If I’m having a stressful day at work and I go to staple something, my stapler makes me smile.  I love slipping off my shoes at 5 and putting on my pink flip flops.  My favorite part of my day is snuggling up in my pink and zebra bed with my dog.  Because if pink, animal print, and sparkle are wrong for a woman of my age then I certainly don’t want to be right.